Ladka : jaaneman is dil me chali aao
Ladki : chapal nikali kya?
Ladka : pagli, ye koi mandir nahi hai, aise hi aa jao.
Chayewala – bholi si surat aankho me masti dur khadi sarmaye haye haye!!
Ladki- kali si surat hatho me ketli dur khade chilaye chaye-chaye
Babu apni girlfriend se- darling kal ghar par aa jana koi bhi nahi hoga!
Jab ladki ghar par aati hai to sachmuch koi nahi tha.
Ladka- kya me tumhara hath tham lu?
Ladki – No thanks ! ye itna bhari nahi he!!
Kutte………kaminey………..matlabi………….dhokebaaz……….
Ullu ke pathe………besharam……..baimaan……….kapti………
Aise logo se hamesha door rehna !!
Bilu MC ki hotal me- are bhai kab se wait kar raha hu,
Khana abhi tak nahi aaya?
Mc – sar khana to char din se bana rakha hai bas garam ho raha hai!!
Pitaji:- itne kam no. ? do thapad marne chahiye!
Tinku:- ha papa,chalo maine us mastarji ka ghar dekha hai!!
Teacher – bolo A for Apple ,
Student – A for apple,
Teacher – jor se bolo,
Student – jai mata dee!!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho
He he he he he he he he he he he ……
Kuch nahi bas tumhari sakal yaad aa gayi….
Ha ha ha ha ha!!
Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hai?
A. jab koi ladki shaadi se pehle pregnant ho jaye, aur uski maa
Kahe “hey bhagwan ye tune kya kiya”.
Maine tujhe dekha…dekhta hi gaya…dekhta hi gaya…..
Aur fir…ek din mujhe…
….Chashma…lag gaya!!
Old : pehla pehla pyar hai, aayi bahar hai, aaja more sajan tera Intazar hai. New : Duja teja pyar hai, dil bekarar hai, aaja mere sajana verna Chautha taiyaar hai…! Boy- Bus,train or ladki ek jesi hoti hai,ek jati hai to dusri aa jati hai Girl- Taxi, Autoriksha or ladke ek jaise hote hai, ek bulao 4 chale Aate hai..! Ladka ladki ko dekhne gaya, unko baat krne k liye akele bitha diya girl-(darte hue)bhaiya aap kitne bhai-behen ho Boy-abhi tk to 3 the,ab 4 ho gye.
Bahut der k baad train chali.Muslim bola_ya Ali ! Hindu bola_ jai bajrang bali.Ek sardar bola_kya Ali,Kya Bali?Ullu k pattho, Train to baju wali Chali 1 shrabi roz SHIV mandir pe sir tekta tha. 1 din pujaari ne SHIV ke jagah GANESH murti rakhi, Shraabi aya dekha bola- Chhotu papa se bolna main aya tha. Premika: Aisa Letter Likh Sajna, Meri Umar Beet Jaye Padhne Me.... Premi:(!=!0!>XE~?1!!:E'&A?>#^^E"!$>,'>,'E=*?#:P(+>!*"@&= Le Padhle.....! A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z isme 1 missing hai find it... 2 times padhte ho sharam nahi aati ? ABCD me 1 kaha aata hai?
Wo konsa 1 mazak he Jo salo pehle b studnts karte the,
aaj b karte hai or qayamat tak karte rahenge
?
?
Bahut masti ho gayi yar
ab Kal Se Seriously Padai karnge
Ek Murgi Market Gayi aur..
Kaha- Ek Anda Dena..
Dukandar-Tum Anday Ka Kya Karogi??
Murgi- Mere Husband Ne Kaha 2Rs. Ke Liye Apna Figure Kharab Mat Karo.
Teacher-tum bde hoker kya karoge
Student-shadi..
Teacher-nahi, mera matlab hai kya banoge
Student-dulha..
Teacher-oho,i mean bade hoker kya hasil karoge
student-dulhan!
1 dukhi Aadmi bola-Aisi zindagi se maut achi.
Achnak Yamdut aaya aur bola-"Tumhari jaan lene ka hukm h"
Aadmi-Lo Batao,
Ab Insan Mazak b nahi kar sakta.
PITA:AGAR TU IS BAAR BHI FAIL HO GAYA TO MUJHE PITA MAT KEHNA.
KUCH DIN BAD
PITA:KYA HUA TERE RESULT KA?
SON:SORRY YAAR RAM PRASAD MAI FAIL HO GAYA.
Teacher:-batao baad aur sukhe main kya fark hai? Mantra ka beta:- sir zamin aasmaan ka. Teacher:-batao who kaise? Mantra ka beta:- sir, sukhe main mere papa jeep se daura karte hain aur baad main helicopter main. Ek aalsi se uske dost ne kaha:-suna hai tum faoj main bharti hone ja rahe ho. Aalsi Dost:-are nahin,mujhe to ye bhi nahin pata ki badook ka muh kidhar karna hai? Pehla dost:-koi baat nahin, kahin bhi rakhoge, desh ka bhala hi hoga. Do abhinetao ke bachche aapas main baat kar rahe the. Pahle bachcha:-pata hai,mere papa kal nai mummy laye hain ,wo bahot achchi hai. Doosra bachcha:- pata hai pata hai, pichle saal who meri mummy reh chuki hain. Pahli ladki:- maine faisla kiya hai jab tak main 25 saal ki nahin ho jaati main shaadi nahin karungi. Doosri ladki:-aur maine faisla kiya hai jab tak main shaadi nahin kar leti 25 ki nahin houngi. Traffic police:tumhara scooter itna uchhal kyon raha hai? Scooter chaalak:-huzur, scooter nahin uchhal raha hai. Mujhe hichkiyaan aa rahi hain. Judge:-pichi baar bhi tum 500 rupyee churaane ke ilzaam main pakde gaye the. Chor:-huzur,500 rupyee s kitne din kaam chalaya ja sakta hai? Student:-sir, kya aap mujhe us kaam ke liye bhi saza denge jo main nahin kiya hai? Adhyapak:-nahin nahin,bilkul nahin. Student:-sir, maine aaj ka homework nahin kiya hai. Mareez:-doctor ,mujhe ek serious bimari hai,main jo kuch bhi bolta hoon bhool jata hoon. Doctor:-aapko ye bimaari kab se hai? Mareez:-kaun si bimaari? Ek aurat:-jab tumhara talak hua tha tab to tumhara ek hi bachcha tha.ab 3 kaise? Doosri:-who kabhi kabhi maafi mangne aa jate the.
Teacher:-bahcho aaykar,bikrikar,bhoomikar se milta jolta koi aur shabd batao.
Bachcha:-sir ek nahin teen shabd sune hain,sunil gawaskar,sachin tendulkar aur dilip vangaskar. ek chhota bachcha doosre bachche se:-agar din ko suraj nahin nikala to kya hoga? doosra bachcha:-bijli ka bill bad jaaega. manager ne aanewale se poocha, "kya tumhe pata nahin ki aagya ke bina andar aana mana hai." aane wala, "janab, main aagya lene ke liye hi andar aaya hoon." adhyaapak:-bachcho batao ki doodh ko kharab hone se bachane ke liye kya karne chaahiye? sonu:-ji sir use pi lena chahiye. Ek aadmi:-kyon bachche yeh gend tumhari hai? Bachcha:- uncle kya isse koi sheesha toota hai? Aadmi:-nahin to.. bachcha:- haan to phir meri hai. Naukraani:-malkin aap mujh per bekaar hi shak kar rahi hai,main aapko kaise samjhaau mujhe to shabd nahin mil rahe hai. Malkin:- tujhe shabd nahin mil rahe hain,aur mujhe 1 thaali,5 katori aur 2 drzan chammach nahin mil rahi hai. Ek padosan Ne Sunita Se Kaha:- are sunita gajab Ho Gaya.dekh to Pados Ki do Auraten teri Saas ki pitaai kar Rahi Hain. Sunita padosan Ke Sath chat per Aayi Aur chhupkar pitaai Dekhane Lagi. padosan Ne Pucha, Aap Madad Karane Nahi Jayengi ? Sunita - Nahi nahin do Hi bahot Hain
Mareez:-doctor aap ye phoolo ki mala kyon laaye hain? Doctor:-ye mera pahla operation hai,agar safal hua to mere liye nahin to tuhare kaam aaegi. Maalik:-are raamu aaj tumne roti main kitna saare ghee laga diya.. Naukar:-are saahab maaf karna shayad galti se maine apni roti aapko de di hai, Saahukaar:-tumne apne udhaar ke paise abhi tak nahin wapas kiye… chalo mamla beech main suljha lete hai… tumhare udhaar ka aadha paisa main bhoolne ke liye taiyaar hoon.. Karzdaar:-manzoor:-baaki aadha main bhoolne ko taiyaar hoon. Ek ladka ek ladki ke saath baitha tha, doosre din doosri ladki ke saath baitha tha, teesre din teesri ladki ke saath baitha tha… is kahani se shiksha milti hai:-ladkiyan badal jaati hain,ladke nahin. Ek aadmi librarian se:-mujhe aatmhatya karni hai.kya aap mujhe aatmhatya per koi achchi book de sakte hain. Librarian:-nahin bilkul nahin,mujhe pata hai aap mujhe wo wapas nahin denge. Teacher:-bachcho kabhi sharab mat peena,jhooth mat bolna,kabhi nonveg mat khana,kabhi ladki ko mat chhedna.aur apne desh ke liye jaan de dena. Ek bachcha:-de denge sir,sala aisi zindagi se to marna achcha hai. Ek jagah sangeet ki mahfil chal rahi thi.ek gayak ne jaise hi gana gaya , sab bole , “once more”.gayak ne gana phir suna diya. Sab log phir se bole , “once more”.gayak nephir se ganae suna diya.abki baar phir sab bole , “once more”.gayak ne kaha,”mere pyare sunne walo, main aapka mere liye pyaar samajhta hu, per meri bhi kuch maryada hai,main itni baar nahin ga sakta.” Tabhi mahfil main se ek aadmi bola,”jab tak tum thik se nahin gaaoge, tumko gana padega.”
