Chayewala

Ladka : jaaneman is dil me chali aao 
Ladki : chapal nikali kya? 
Ladka : pagli, ye koi mandir nahi hai, aise hi aa jao. 



Chayewala – bholi si surat aankho me masti dur khadi sarmaye haye haye!! 
Ladki- kali si surat hatho me ketli dur khade chilaye chaye-chaye 


Babu apni girlfriend se- darling kal ghar par aa jana koi bhi nahi hoga! 
Jab ladki ghar par aati hai to sachmuch koi nahi tha. 


Ladka- kya me tumhara hath tham lu? 
Ladki – No thanks ! ye itna bhari nahi he!! 

Kutte………kaminey………..matlabi………….dhokebaaz………. 
Ullu ke pathe………besharam……..baimaan……….kapti……… 
Aise logo se hamesha door rehna !! 


Bilu MC ki hotal me- are bhai kab se wait kar raha hu, 
Khana abhi tak nahi aaya? 
Mc – sar khana to char din se bana rakha hai bas garam ho raha hai!! 

Pitaji:- itne kam no. ? do thapad marne chahiye! 
Tinku:- ha papa,chalo maine us mastarji ka ghar dekha hai!! 


Teacher – bolo A for Apple , 
Student – A for apple, 
Teacher – jor se bolo, 
Student – jai mata dee!! 

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 
Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho 
He he he he he he he he he he he …… 
Kuch nahi bas tumhari sakal yaad aa gayi…. 
Ha ha ha ha ha!! 


Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hai? 
A. jab koi ladki shaadi se pehle pregnant ho jaye, aur uski maa 
Kahe “hey bhagwan ye tune kya kiya”. 


Maine tujhe dekha…dekhta hi gaya…dekhta hi gaya….. 
Aur fir…ek din mujhe… 
….Chashma…lag gaya!! 

Ladka ladki ko dekhne gaya,

Old : pehla pehla pyar hai, aayi bahar hai, aaja more sajan tera 
Intazar hai. 
New : Duja teja pyar hai, dil bekarar hai, aaja mere sajana verna 
Chautha taiyaar hai…! 


Boy- Bus,train or ladki ek jesi hoti hai,ek jati hai to dusri aa jati hai 
Girl- Taxi, Autoriksha or ladke ek jaise hote hai, ek bulao 4 chale 
Aate hai..! 

Ladka ladki ko dekhne gaya, 
unko baat krne k liye akele bitha diya 
girl-(darte hue)bhaiya aap kitne bhai-behen ho 
Boy-abhi tk to 3 the,ab 4 ho gye. 

Funny Comedy Jokes

Bahut der k baad train chali.Muslim bola_ya Ali ! Hindu bola_ jai bajrang bali.Ek sardar bola_kya Ali,Kya Bali?Ullu k pattho, Train to baju wali Chali 

1 shrabi roz SHIV mandir pe sir tekta tha. 
1 din pujaari ne SHIV ke jagah GANESH murti rakhi, 
Shraabi aya dekha bola- Chhotu papa se bolna main aya tha. 


Premika: Aisa Letter Likh Sajna, Meri Umar Beet Jaye Padhne Me.... 
Premi:(!=!0!>XE~?1!!:E'&A?>#^^E"!$>,'>,'E=*?#:P(+>!*"@&= Le Padhle.....! 



A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z 
isme 1 missing hai 
find it... 
2 times padhte ho 
sharam nahi aati ? 
ABCD me 1 kaha aata hai? 

Ek Murgi

Wo konsa 1 mazak he Jo salo pehle b studnts karte the, 
aaj b karte hai or qayamat tak karte rahenge 
? 
? 
Bahut masti ho gayi yar 
ab Kal Se Seriously Padai karnge 


Ek Murgi Market Gayi aur.. 
Kaha- Ek Anda Dena.. 
Dukandar-Tum Anday Ka Kya Karogi?? 
Murgi- Mere Husband Ne Kaha 2Rs. Ke Liye Apna Figure Kharab Mat Karo. 


Teacher-tum bde hoker kya karoge 
Student-shadi.. 
Teacher-nahi, mera matlab hai kya banoge 
Student-dulha.. 
Teacher-oho,i mean bade hoker kya hasil karoge 
student-dulhan! 

1 dukhi Aadmi bola-Aisi zindagi se maut achi. 
Achnak Yamdut aaya aur bola-"Tumhari jaan lene ka hukm h" 
Aadmi-Lo Batao, 
Ab Insan Mazak b nahi kar sakta. 


PITA:AGAR TU IS BAAR BHI FAIL HO GAYA TO MUJHE PITA MAT KEHNA. 
KUCH DIN BAD 
PITA:KYA HUA TERE RESULT KA? 
SON:SORRY YAAR RAM PRASAD MAI FAIL HO GAYA. 

Teacher

Teacher:-batao baad aur sukhe main kya fark hai? 
Mantra ka beta:- sir zamin aasmaan ka. 
Teacher:-batao who kaise? 
Mantra ka beta:- sir, sukhe main mere papa jeep se daura karte hain aur baad main helicopter main. 


Ek aalsi se uske dost ne kaha:-suna hai tum faoj main bharti hone ja rahe ho. 
Aalsi Dost:-are nahin,mujhe to ye bhi nahin pata ki badook ka muh kidhar karna hai? 
Pehla dost:-koi baat nahin, kahin bhi rakhoge, desh ka bhala hi hoga. 


Do abhinetao ke bachche aapas main baat kar rahe the. 
Pahle bachcha:-pata hai,mere papa kal nai mummy laye hain ,wo bahot achchi hai. 
Doosra bachcha:- pata hai pata hai, pichle saal who meri mummy reh chuki hain. 


Pahli ladki:- maine faisla kiya hai jab tak main 25 saal ki nahin ho jaati main shaadi nahin karungi. 
Doosri ladki:-aur maine faisla kiya hai jab tak main shaadi nahin kar leti 25 ki nahin houngi. 


Traffic police:tumhara scooter itna uchhal kyon raha hai? 
Scooter chaalak:-huzur, scooter nahin uchhal raha hai. Mujhe hichkiyaan aa rahi hain. 

Judge:-pichi baar bhi tum 500 rupyee churaane ke ilzaam main pakde gaye the. 
Chor:-huzur,500 rupyee s kitne din kaam chalaya ja sakta hai? 


Student:-sir, kya aap mujhe us kaam ke liye bhi saza denge jo main nahin kiya hai? 
Adhyapak:-nahin nahin,bilkul nahin. 
Student:-sir, maine aaj ka homework nahin kiya hai. 


Mareez:-doctor ,mujhe ek serious bimari hai,main jo kuch bhi bolta hoon bhool jata hoon. 
Doctor:-aapko ye bimaari kab se hai? 
Mareez:-kaun si bimaari? 


  Ek aurat:-jab tumhara talak hua tha tab to tumhara ek hi bachcha tha.ab 3 kaise? 
Doosri:-who kabhi kabhi maafi mangne aa jate the. 

Teacher-Bachcha

 Teacher:-bahcho aaykar,bikrikar,bhoomikar se milta jolta koi aur shabd batao. 
Bachcha:-sir ek nahin teen shabd sune hain,sunil gawaskar,sachin tendulkar aur dilip vangaskar. 

ek chhota bachcha doosre bachche se:-agar din ko suraj nahin nikala to kya hoga? 
doosra bachcha:-bijli ka bill bad jaaega. 

    manager ne aanewale se poocha, "kya tumhe pata nahin ki aagya ke bina andar aana mana hai." 
aane wala, "janab, main aagya lene ke liye hi andar aaya hoon." 

adhyaapak:-bachcho batao ki doodh ko kharab hone se bachane ke liye kya karne chaahiye? 
sonu:-ji sir use pi lena chahiye. 

Ek aadmi:-kyon bachche yeh gend tumhari hai? 
Bachcha:- uncle kya isse koi sheesha toota hai? 
Aadmi:-nahin to.. 
bachcha:- haan to phir meri hai. 


   Naukraani:-malkin aap mujh per bekaar hi shak kar rahi hai,main aapko kaise samjhaau mujhe to shabd nahin mil rahe hai. 
Malkin:- tujhe shabd nahin mil rahe hain,aur mujhe 1 thaali,5 katori aur 2 drzan chammach nahin mil rahi hai. 

Ek padosan Ne Sunita Se Kaha:- are sunita gajab Ho Gaya.dekh to Pados Ki do Auraten teri Saas ki pitaai kar Rahi Hain. 
Sunita padosan Ke Sath chat per Aayi Aur chhupkar pitaai Dekhane Lagi. padosan Ne Pucha, Aap Madad Karane Nahi Jayengi ? 
Sunita - Nahi nahin do Hi bahot Hain 

Doctor OR Mareez

Mareez:-doctor aap ye phoolo ki mala kyon laaye hain? 
Doctor:-ye mera pahla operation hai,agar safal hua to mere liye nahin to tuhare kaam aaegi. 



Maalik:-are raamu aaj tumne roti main kitna saare ghee laga diya.. 
Naukar:-are saahab maaf karna shayad galti se maine apni roti aapko de di hai, 



Saahukaar:-tumne apne udhaar ke paise abhi tak nahin wapas kiye… 
chalo mamla beech main suljha lete hai… 
tumhare udhaar ka aadha paisa main bhoolne ke liye taiyaar hoon.. 
Karzdaar:-manzoor:-baaki aadha main bhoolne ko taiyaar hoon. 


Ek ladka ek ladki ke saath baitha tha, 
doosre din doosri ladki ke saath baitha tha, 
teesre din teesri ladki ke saath baitha tha… 
is kahani se shiksha milti hai:-ladkiyan badal jaati hain,ladke nahin. 



Ek aadmi librarian se:-mujhe aatmhatya karni hai.kya aap mujhe aatmhatya per koi achchi book de sakte hain. 
Librarian:-nahin bilkul nahin,mujhe pata hai aap mujhe wo wapas nahin denge. 



Teacher:-bachcho kabhi sharab mat peena,jhooth mat bolna,kabhi nonveg mat khana,kabhi ladki ko mat chhedna.aur apne desh ke liye jaan de dena. 
Ek bachcha:-de denge sir,sala aisi zindagi se to marna achcha hai. 



Ek jagah sangeet ki mahfil chal rahi thi.ek gayak ne jaise hi gana gaya , 
sab bole , “once more”.gayak ne gana phir suna diya. Sab log phir se bole , 
“once more”.gayak nephir se ganae suna diya.abki baar phir sab bole , 
“once more”.gayak ne kaha,”mere pyare sunne walo, 
main aapka mere liye pyaar samajhta hu, 
per meri bhi kuch maryada hai,main itni baar nahin ga sakta.” 
Tabhi mahfil main se ek aadmi bola,”jab tak tum thik se nahin gaaoge, 
tumko gana padega.” 

Ek murgi market gayi

Ek murgi market gayi, aur dukaandar se boli, “ek anda dena.” 
Dukaandar bola, “sharm nahin aati, murgi hokar anda mangti ho.” 
Murgi boli, “mere pati ne kaha hai ki 3 rupyee ke ande ke liye 
apna figure kharab mat karo.” 



Ek aadmi bhagwaan se bola, “india se usa tak pakki sadak banwa dijiye.” 
Bhagwan bole, “mushkil hai kuch aur maang lo.” Aadmi bola, 
“To phir aap meri biwi ko samajhdaar aur aagyakari bana dijiye.” 
Bhagwan bole, “sadak single banana hai ya double.” 


Ek naye teacher ne ek bachche se poocha, “is pakshi ke pair dekho aur iska naam batao. 
” Bachche ne kaha, “ pata nahin.” Teacher ne kaha, “ Tum fail ho gaye,batao tumhara naam batao. 
” Bachche ne kaha “Mere pair dekho aur naam batao”. 


ek baar aadmi ne bhagwan se kaha, 
“aapne aurat ko itna sundar kyon banaya hai?” 
Bhagwan bole,”taki tum unse pyaar kar sako.” 
Aadmi bola, “ to phir unhe itna bevkoof kyon banaya hai?” 
bhagwan ne jawab diya, “taki wo tumse pyaar kar sake.” 


ek aadmi ke paas uske doctor ka phone aaya. 
Docor ne kaha, “Mere pass tumhe sunane ke liye ek achchi khabar hai, 
aur ek buri khabar hai.pahle kya sunoge?” 
aadmi bola, “pahle mujhe achchi khabar suna do.” 
Doctor bola, “good news hai ki tumhe marne me 24 ghante baaki hain.” 
Aadmi bola, “oh no, aur buri khabar kya hai?” 
Doctor bola,”buri khabar ye hai ki ye khabar sunanae ke liye 
main tumhe kal phone karna bhool gaya.” 


Chota baby- mummy raat ko jab me susu karne gaya to bathroom 
Ki light jal gayi, 
Mummy- haramjade tu aaj fir freeze me susu kar aaya…!! 


Teacher:-MotorCycle k Kitne Tyers Hote hai? 
Smart Santa:- 6 Tyre 
Teacher(Gusse se): How? 
Santa:- 4 Motor k 2 Cycle k!G.M. 


College ke first day; Ladka: Tumhara naam kya hai? Ladki: Mujhe sab didi kehte hai.. Ladka: WOW MUJHE SAB JIJAJI KEHTE HAIN! 


Teacher- Bataao bachcho jo galat kaam karte hain wo kaha jate hain?? 
Student- sharmate huye bola sir.. 
Manuabhaan tekri, EKAANT park, Chinar park, MAYUR park... 

Comedy Jokes

Man: Bed majbut banana, Mere BETE ko BAHU k sath sona hai. 
Mistri: Aisa Majbut Bed banaunga SARA MOHALLA BAHU k sath SOEGA to bhi nahi tutega..! 

Beta: Papa apki shaadi ho gayi? 
Papa: Haan. 
Beta: Kis se hui? 
Papa: Bewkuf teri mummy se.. 
Beta: Wah papa ghar me hi setting kar li. 


MAA-Beta Apple Khaoge, 
BETA-Nahi 
MAA-Beta Mengo Khaoge, 
BETA-Nahi 
MAA-Beta Orange Khaoge, 
BETA-Nahi 
MAA-Bilkul Baap Par Gaya Hai, 
Chappal Hi Khayega. 


Baith kar apni mehbuba ki zulfo k saye me aisa josh aaya, 
wah wah! 
Phir.. 
phir.. 
Usk Papa ne dekh liya aur I.C.U. me hosh aaya. 

Love Aur Arrange Marriage Me Kya Faraq He 
Love Marriage Me Aap Apni Girlfriend Se Shadi Karte Hai 
Aur 
Arrange Marriage Me 
Kisi Aur Ki ;-) 

Raja or Rani ne fix kiya ki ab baat Mobile se nhi Kabutar se karenge.1 din Rani ne bina khat k kabutar uda diya.Raja bola: 
Ye kya? 
Rani boli miss call yaar. 

Khud ko kar kanjoos itna ki.. 
har sms bhejne se pehle, 
SERVICE CENTER wale khud call kar k puche.. 
Bata sach me bhejna he ya galti se sent ho gaya tha. 

Funny Husband and Wife Jokes

WIFE: Tum Ne Kabhi Socha Hai K Meri Shaadi Kisi Aur Se Ho Jaati To Kya Hota?”
HUSBAND: Nahi, Main ne kabhi Kisi Ka Bura Nahi Socha…!

Kitna Baybus Hai Insaan Qismat K Aagay
Her Sapna Toot Jata Hai Haqeqat K Aagay
Jis Ne Kabhi Jhukna Nahi Sekha Duniya Main
Wo Bhi Jhuk Jata Hai BEGUM K Aagay…

Wife ko begum kyon kehte hai?
Ans: Kyonki shadi ke baad sare gum to husband
se hisse mein aate hai,
aur biwi Be-Gum ho jai Hai!!!

Wife: Shadi ke pehle to tum mujhe rof gift diya karte they,
ab kyun nahi dete?
Husband: Machhali pakdne ke baad bhi kya koi chara dalta hai!

Patni: Kaash tum aise SMS hote jise
Main Zindagi bhar save karke rakhti!
Pati: Air kaash tum
aisi ringtone hoti jise
main har hafte badal sakta….

Wife: Agar main mar jaun to tum kya karoge?
Husband: Shayad main mar jaunga.
Wife: Kyon?
Husband: Kabhi kabhi zyada kushi janleva hoti hai….

A beggar- ‘Oh sundari ! Andha hoon.
Sawa paanch rupya de de..
“Husband said 2 his wife- De de, tujhe
sundari bola hai to har haal mein andha hai…”

Sardarji Jokes in Hindi

Sardar got a job in AIRTel
custmr: Hello my AIRTEL sim loked what 2Do?
Srd: y don take tention remove airtel sim put BSNL,thank u 4caling
`
Sardar Roz Subha 50 ladkiya mera intezar karti hain
man- are waha Vo kaise?
sardar- Maine Girls collage Bus ka Drive Hu na.
`
2 sardar sending sms their GF
1st sardar:Mai tere mobile se teri G.F ko sms bheju?
2nd:no
1st:Why?
2nd:usne handwriting pehchan li to……?
`
Ek sardar jo bhi kam karata tha usme puri tarah doob jata tha……
Aurr… ak din… usne ak gadda khod liya…..
`
Sardars Friend: Yar Kal Meine Kitni Baar Call Kiya, Uthaya Q Nahi?
Sardar: Q Uthau, 30 Rs.De K Jo Gana Lagwaya Hai Woh Kya Tera Bap Sune..
`
Sardar saying to his friend- yaar meina compeny ke computer ko jor jor se chalaya button dabaya to computer bolta he “what r u doing”. Meine computer ko na main switch se band ker diya or bhag gaya.
Dusra Dost- kyon?
Sardar yaar computer has a good mind wo Malik ko bata dega to…

Excellent Mind

Excellent Mind

Masoom Chehra

Mithi Aawaz

Khubsurat Aankhe

Perfect Personality

Khushmizaj Andaz

Ye To Hui Meri Baat

Or Batao Aap Kaisy Ho ?…

`

Ek ‘Aap’ Ho Kitne Achhe Ho

Kitne Bhole Ho

Kitne Pyare Ho

Kitne Smart Ho

Kitne Sweet Ho

Aur Ek ‘Hum’ Hain Ke

Jhooth Pe Jooth Bole Ja Rahe Hain…

`

Hum Pagal Apke Picche

Aap Pagal Kisi Or K Picche

Koi Or Pagal Hamare Picche

Wo B Pagal Kisi Or K Picche

Hahaha

Saare Pagal Aage Picche…

husband apni wife say:

Train mai aik husband apni wife say:

tujh say shadi ker k pachta raha hun

dil kerta hai tujhey kuttay k agay dal dun

samnay wala passenger:wao wao wao wao!!!…

`

Khush rahe tu sada yeh dua hai meri

Teri premika hi ban jaaye bhabhi teri…..

`

Ek ladki thi diwani si, sunder si lambi si,

Nazrein jhukake sharmake galion se guzra karti thi

latak matak chalti thi, aur kaha karti thi,

Bartan Lelo Bartan……

`

Bolaa dukaan-daar, ke kyaa chahiye tumhain

Jo bhii kaho ge merii dukaan per wo paoge

maine kahaa ke kutte ke khaane kaa cake hai

bolaa yahiin pe khaaoge yaa leke jaaoge…

`

Suna hai wo keh kar gaye hai ke ab to hum,

Sirf tumhare khawboo main hi aayenge,

Koi keh de unse ki wo vada kar le hum,

Jindgi bher ke liye so jayenge…

`

Woh zindagi hi kya jisme mohabbat nahi,

Woh mohabat hi kya jisme yaadein nahi,

Woh yaadein hi kya jisme tum nahi,

Aur woh tum hi kya jiske saath hum nahi…….

Shair Arz Kiya Hai…

Shair Arz Kiya Hai…
Zara Tawajo Chahiye…
Khushiyan Milain Tumhain Har Qadam Ba Qadam…
Khuda Ki Qasam Shair Khatam
Plz Naraz Mat Ho Acha Chalo Dosra Shair Hai…
Chahe Ge Tm Ko Dilo Jan Se Hum
Khuda Ki Qasam Ye Shair Bhe Khatam
Thora Aur Bura Maan Lo…
`
Best Sms Of 1947
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Tab Mobile Tha Kya?
Kabhi Tu Thora Dimagh Ka Istamaal Kar Liya Karo!
Bas Sms Parhne Ki Jaldi Lagi Hoti Hai…
`
Why Has The Govt Fixed Voting Age Of 18 Yr
& Marriage In Age Of 21yr?
Govt Ko Ye Pata Hai K
Desh Sumbhalna Aasan Hai
Lekin Biwi Nahi…
`
Palko Pe Apni Baithaya Hai Tumhe
Badi Dino Ke Baad Paya Hai Tumhe
Aasani Se Nahi Mile Tum
National Zoological Park Se Churaya Hai Tumhe…
`
Mere Hath Me Tera Hath Ho
Tere Hath Me Bajuwale Ka Hath Ho
Aur Uske Hath Me Mera Hath Ho Fir?
Fir Kya Teeno Milake Khelege GHOOM-GHOOM …