Sunday, 13 May 2012

Ek murgi market gayi



Ek murgi market gayi, aur dukaandar se boli, “ek anda dena.” 
Dukaandar bola, “sharm nahin aati, murgi hokar anda mangti ho.” 
Murgi boli, “mere pati ne kaha hai ki 3 rupyee ke ande ke liye 
apna figure kharab mat karo.” 



Ek aadmi bhagwaan se bola, “india se usa tak pakki sadak banwa dijiye.” 
Bhagwan bole, “mushkil hai kuch aur maang lo.” Aadmi bola, 
“To phir aap meri biwi ko samajhdaar aur aagyakari bana dijiye.” 
Bhagwan bole, “sadak single banana hai ya double.” 


Ek naye teacher ne ek bachche se poocha, “is pakshi ke pair dekho aur iska naam batao. 
” Bachche ne kaha, “ pata nahin.” Teacher ne kaha, “ Tum fail ho gaye,batao tumhara naam batao. 
” Bachche ne kaha “Mere pair dekho aur naam batao”. 


ek baar aadmi ne bhagwan se kaha, 
“aapne aurat ko itna sundar kyon banaya hai?” 
Bhagwan bole,”taki tum unse pyaar kar sako.” 
Aadmi bola, “ to phir unhe itna bevkoof kyon banaya hai?” 
bhagwan ne jawab diya, “taki wo tumse pyaar kar sake.” 


ek aadmi ke paas uske doctor ka phone aaya. 
Docor ne kaha, “Mere pass tumhe sunane ke liye ek achchi khabar hai, 
aur ek buri khabar hai.pahle kya sunoge?” 
aadmi bola, “pahle mujhe achchi khabar suna do.” 
Doctor bola, “good news hai ki tumhe marne me 24 ghante baaki hain.” 
Aadmi bola, “oh no, aur buri khabar kya hai?” 
Doctor bola,”buri khabar ye hai ki ye khabar sunanae ke liye 
main tumhe kal phone karna bhool gaya.” 


Chota baby- mummy raat ko jab me susu karne gaya to bathroom 
Ki light jal gayi, 
Mummy- haramjade tu aaj fir freeze me susu kar aaya…!! 


Teacher:-MotorCycle k Kitne Tyers Hote hai? 
Smart Santa:- 6 Tyre 
Teacher(Gusse se): How? 
Santa:- 4 Motor k 2 Cycle k!G.M. 


College ke first day; Ladka: Tumhara naam kya hai? Ladki: Mujhe sab didi kehte hai.. Ladka: WOW MUJHE SAB JIJAJI KEHTE HAIN! 


Teacher- Bataao bachcho jo galat kaam karte hain wo kaha jate hain?? 
Student- sharmate huye bola sir.. 
Manuabhaan tekri, EKAANT park, Chinar park, MAYUR park... 

Comedy Jokes

Man: Bed majbut banana, Mere BETE ko BAHU k sath sona hai. 
Mistri: Aisa Majbut Bed banaunga SARA MOHALLA BAHU k sath SOEGA to bhi nahi tutega..! 

Beta: Papa apki shaadi ho gayi? 
Papa: Haan. 
Beta: Kis se hui? 
Papa: Bewkuf teri mummy se.. 
Beta: Wah papa ghar me hi setting kar li. 


MAA-Beta Apple Khaoge, 
BETA-Nahi 
MAA-Beta Mengo Khaoge, 
BETA-Nahi 
MAA-Beta Orange Khaoge, 
BETA-Nahi 
MAA-Bilkul Baap Par Gaya Hai, 
Chappal Hi Khayega. 


Baith kar apni mehbuba ki zulfo k saye me aisa josh aaya, 
wah wah! 
Phir.. 
phir.. 
Usk Papa ne dekh liya aur I.C.U. me hosh aaya. 

Love Aur Arrange Marriage Me Kya Faraq He 
Love Marriage Me Aap Apni Girlfriend Se Shadi Karte Hai 
Aur 
Arrange Marriage Me 
Kisi Aur Ki ;-) 

Raja or Rani ne fix kiya ki ab baat Mobile se nhi Kabutar se karenge.1 din Rani ne bina khat k kabutar uda diya.Raja bola: 
Ye kya? 
Rani boli miss call yaar. 

Khud ko kar kanjoos itna ki.. 
har sms bhejne se pehle, 
SERVICE CENTER wale khud call kar k puche.. 
Bata sach me bhejna he ya galti se sent ho gaya tha. 

Wednesday, 9 May 2012

Funny Husband and Wife Jokes


WIFE: Tum Ne Kabhi Socha Hai K Meri Shaadi Kisi Aur Se Ho Jaati To Kya Hota?”
HUSBAND: Nahi, Main ne kabhi Kisi Ka Bura Nahi Socha…!
Kitna Baybus Hai Insaan Qismat K Aagay
Her Sapna Toot Jata Hai Haqeqat K Aagay
Jis Ne Kabhi Jhukna Nahi Sekha Duniya Main
Wo Bhi Jhuk Jata Hai BEGUM K Aagay…
Wife ko begum kyon kehte hai?
Ans: Kyonki shadi ke baad sare gum to husband
se hisse mein aate hai,
aur biwi Be-Gum ho jai Hai!!!
Wife: Shadi ke pehle to tum mujhe rof gift diya karte they,
ab kyun nahi dete?
Husband: Machhali pakdne ke baad bhi kya koi chara dalta hai!
Patni: Kaash tum aise SMS hote jise
Main Zindagi bhar save karke rakhti!
Pati: Air kaash tum
aisi ringtone hoti jise
main har hafte badal sakta….
Wife: Agar main mar jaun to tum kya karoge?
Husband: Shayad main mar jaunga.
Wife: Kyon?
Husband: Kabhi kabhi zyada kushi janleva hoti hai….
A beggar- ‘Oh sundari ! Andha hoon.
Sawa paanch rupya de de..
“Husband said 2 his wife- De de, tujhe
sundari bola hai to har haal mein andha hai…”

Sardarji Jokes in Hindi





Sardar got a job in AIRTel
custmr: Hello my AIRTEL sim loked what 2Do?
Srd: y don take tention remove airtel sim put BSNL,thank u 4caling
`
Sardar Roz Subha 50 ladkiya mera intezar karti hain
man- are waha Vo kaise?
sardar- Maine Girls collage Bus ka Drive Hu na.
`
2 sardar sending sms their GF
1st sardar:Mai tere mobile se teri G.F ko sms bheju?
2nd:no
1st:Why?
2nd:usne handwriting pehchan li to……?
`
Ek sardar jo bhi kam karata tha usme puri tarah doob jata tha……
Aurr… ak din… usne ak gadda khod liya…..
`
Sardars Friend: Yar Kal Meine Kitni Baar Call Kiya, Uthaya Q Nahi?
Sardar: Q Uthau, 30 Rs.De K Jo Gana Lagwaya Hai Woh Kya Tera Bap Sune..
`
Sardar saying to his friend- yaar meina compeny ke computer ko jor jor se chalaya button dabaya to computer bolta he “what r u doing”. Meine computer ko na main switch se band ker diya or bhag gaya.
Dusra Dost- kyon?
Sardar yaar computer has a good mind wo Malik ko bata dega to…

Excellent Mind




Excellent Mind
Masoom Chehra
Mithi Aawaz
Khubsurat Aankhe
Perfect Personality
Khushmizaj Andaz
Ye To Hui Meri Baat
Or Batao Aap Kaisy Ho ?…
`
Ek ‘Aap’ Ho Kitne Achhe Ho
Kitne Bhole Ho
Kitne Pyare Ho
Kitne Smart Ho
Kitne Sweet Ho
Aur Ek ‘Hum’ Hain Ke
Jhooth Pe Jooth Bole Ja Rahe Hain…
`
Hum Pagal Apke Picche
Aap Pagal Kisi Or K Picche
Koi Or Pagal Hamare Picche
Wo B Pagal Kisi Or K Picche
Hahaha
Saare Pagal Aage Picche…

husband apni wife say:

Train mai aik husband apni wife say:

tujh say shadi ker k pachta raha hun

dil kerta hai tujhey kuttay k agay dal dun
samnay wala passenger:wao wao wao wao!!!…
`
Khush rahe tu sada yeh dua hai meri
Teri premika hi ban jaaye bhabhi teri…..
`
Ek ladki thi diwani si, sunder si lambi si,
Nazrein jhukake sharmake galion se guzra karti thi
latak matak chalti thi, aur kaha karti thi,
Bartan Lelo Bartan……
`
Bolaa dukaan-daar, ke kyaa chahiye tumhain
Jo bhii kaho ge merii dukaan per wo paoge
maine kahaa ke kutte ke khaane kaa cake hai
bolaa yahiin pe khaaoge yaa leke jaaoge…
`
Suna hai wo keh kar gaye hai ke ab to hum,
Sirf tumhare khawboo main hi aayenge,
Koi keh de unse ki wo vada kar le hum,
Jindgi bher ke liye so jayenge…
`
Woh zindagi hi kya jisme mohabbat nahi,
Woh mohabat hi kya jisme yaadein nahi,
Woh yaadein hi kya jisme tum nahi,
Aur woh tum hi kya jiske saath hum nahi…….

Shair Arz Kiya Hai…

SMS Jokes
Shair Arz Kiya Hai…
Zara Tawajo Chahiye…
Khushiyan Milain Tumhain Har Qadam Ba Qadam…
Khuda Ki Qasam Shair Khatam
Plz Naraz Mat Ho Acha Chalo Dosra Shair Hai…
Chahe Ge Tm Ko Dilo Jan Se Hum
Khuda Ki Qasam Ye Shair Bhe Khatam
Thora Aur Bura Maan Lo…
`
Best Sms Of 1947
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Tab Mobile Tha Kya?
Kabhi Tu Thora Dimagh Ka Istamaal Kar Liya Karo!
Bas Sms Parhne Ki Jaldi Lagi Hoti Hai…
`
Why Has The Govt Fixed Voting Age Of 18 Yr
& Marriage In Age Of 21yr?
Govt Ko Ye Pata Hai K
Desh Sumbhalna Aasan Hai
Lekin Biwi Nahi…
`
Palko Pe Apni Baithaya Hai Tumhe
Badi Dino Ke Baad Paya Hai Tumhe
Aasani Se Nahi Mile Tum
National Zoological Park Se Churaya Hai Tumhe…
`
Mere Hath Me Tera Hath Ho
Tere Hath Me Bajuwale Ka Hath Ho
Aur Uske Hath Me Mera Hath Ho Fir?
Fir Kya Teeno Milake Khelege GHOOM-GHOOM …